In praise of barfing
By now you have figured out that I'm not too busy at work and by typing that, the keystroke Nazis are preparing to terminate me.
I stumbled across this blog that speaks to the Lammie in me - albeit in an Irish accent.
From Drunken Hero
"Let me put this straight. it is our god given right to barf in the street. these plans to impose a fine for anyone caught puking up their guts after a session of binge drinking is fucking scandalous.
i will be holding a fundraiser in the limelight on the 29th december in an attempt to raise enough money to start a campaign to overturn this fucking injustice. it will be called the 'karen carpenter barfed and so shall you' trust fund."
posted by Juan Carlos at 8/16/2005 11:23:00 AM
2 Comments:
My sophomore year, my high-school-aged girlfriend and I finished two bottles of rum at the Pi Lam Sweetheart reception in the rather nice Chamberlain Hotel in Hampton. A bit later, she indicated that she needed to excuse herself to vomit. I told her in no uncertain terms that there was no way she was getting up in the middle of the prestigious Pi Lam awards ceremony (I think Chip Tell was being crowned MMPW... again) and walking out. Not sure why I was so adamant.
The situation reached critical mass, and I indicated that she was definitely staying put, so she pushed back from the table, doubled over, and barfed on the floor, making sure to coat the sides of the white tablecloth along the way. Nice.
Never more appalled, apparently, I began chastising her in the most condescending of tones and words. Bystanders (fleeing for cover) later recounted hearing me manage to say, "Oh, my God, I have never seen something so disgusting in my whole--" ...
... before the nitro (wafts of puke smell) met the glycerin (the bucket of rum in my body) and I began violently heaving on the back of her head as she continued to retch.
The event was blurry to me the next day; it was an utter blank to her, as she awoke in my loft with her evening dress still on and her hair filled with buffet-style chunks. Those who bore witness and weren't drunk enough to forget the scene, however, made it sound like a horrific eyesore they'd not soon forget.
That's a classic. Gross, but a classic. To tell you the truth, I am suprised I never heard that story before...
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